One of my favorite personal reflections on adoption ever. It carries a sentiment that I tried to capture in the term “kad nation”, and yes there is also an “adoptee nation”. Many times these days, I feel I belong to this nation more than even the US or Korea. It is a nation that transcends borders. It is a global territory, moving and forming when its inhabitants coalesce. To stand in its presence is to feel alive […]
A case study in adoptees not knowing their own birth date – one of the many common knowledge details typically denied adoptees. One attempt at contacting the adoption agency for confirmation of existing information and filling in of blank spots went along the lines of “We’re sorry, but we cannot disclose this information about you without written consent from your biological father.” But he is dead! “We know.” How the hell am I going to get written consent from […]
It is always shocking when a KAD commits suicide, and we feel the loss keenly. When that person had been deported because of shameful policies that continue to exist in the US – as befell Phillip – it feels like a knife in our back. All that might be beautiful about adoption is rendered ugly in that light, and the words family, country, and belonging reduced to empty marketing slogans. http://www.koreatimes.co.kr/www/nation/2017/05/119_229975.html Even in death, our identity is […]
There are even adoptive families that don’t survive the adoptee coming out racially, so it is sad but not surprising that couples and other relationships also experience tremendous pressure. One story: When I met my girlfriend, who is also white, we were both coming out and helped one another accept and understand our sexuality, which really brought us together. Now I’m coming out racially—as a woman of color. … I don’t mean to blame my […]
The sentiment in the title seems so obvious, yet this insightful reflection on intercountry adoption policy in Australia tells a familiar, sad story told around the world: millions spent and lots of focus on new adoptions, nothing spent on existing adoptees. Overall by 2019, the Australian government will have spent $33.6m yet to date, not one cent has been spent on providing services for existing adult intercountry adoptees who’s numbers are far greater than the […]
Having “the conversation” with your adoptive parents that you are interested in your adoption history and possibly birth family can be a extremely anxious moment that is difficult to express. It is on the same spectrum of coming out as lgbtq to one’s family, and i have heard of families reacting just as badly to adoptees as others have to gay children. (Not trying to compare the two, just giving context.) I had a very […]
Powerful insights from @LightOfDayStory – an adoptive mother is suddenly exposed first-hand to the raw emotions of the birth mother perspective. This may be the best writing by an adoptive parent that I have ever read. https://catapult.co/stories/when-my-adopted-daughter-got-pregnant#
This was posted on facebook, and the author allowed me to share it here. It is such a poignant distillation of some of the complex emotions about our families and mothers that many adoptees carry. “I reunited with my birth mother in 1997 but have not seen her since. This morning my Korean half brother messaged me and told me that she saw the kids’ pictures on FB. He also told me she had surgery […]
I like the idea of stark, concise, austere writing. This is a beautiful example, from a kad. What You Are
This was a facebook post that fully captured the feelings of kads after hyunsu’s murderer was given a light sentence. There is explicit language below, but it is in line with the sentiment. The writer is a kad and a Marine, and i have never seen him swear in his posts before this one. === 7/19/2016 is a sad day to be a Korean Adoptee. Hyunsu was beaten to death by his “Deadly Dad!” And […]
