Posted with permission of the author, this was a profound expression of the complexities of race as a KAD parent.  It can be difficult to feel like an “authentic” korean, and then it becomes even more challenging because parents often want to pass on their heritage to their kids.  (The heritage of one’s adoptive parents can feel even more foreign.)  It is left up to the KAD to bear that burden which they may be hard-pressed to handle. (Not to mention that a person’s Asian features are frequently overlooked in favor or white- or blackness in America.)

I was adopted into a white family in a white city. Fast forward through all the jokes and stereotypes and KAD issues (stories and convos for other posts!).

Now I’m married with two teenagers who are half Korean and half African American. Since my family is white and my husband’s fam is black, I’m afraid my kids don’t identify as Korean or Asian and it makes me sad. They don’t have a Korean side of the family to learn from and “be” Asian with.

Sometimes I feel like a fake Korean myself because I didn’t grow up “Korean”, I basically grew up white. I saw mostly white people. Seeing myself in pictures or certain situations sometimes jolted me into remembering how different I was. I feel that I don’t truly have the culture to even pass on.